


Rose

by GoddessofRoyalty



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DCU
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Child Death, Infant Death, M/M, Mpreg, Pregnancy, Season/Series 02, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 04:03:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20203408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoddessofRoyalty/pseuds/GoddessofRoyalty
Summary: Everyone keeps going on about how Oliver doesn't understand the pain he caused to his mother for allowing her to think he was dead. But he does. He understands the pain all too well.





	Rose

**Author's Note:**

> Meddling with the timeline of these episodes a little to have things go in the order/flow I wanted them to for the second narrative I wanted in there. Also I’m only like halfway season two of this show and have no cares about if later episodes disprove anything. This is very much written in response to the theme that kind of popped up at this point in the show. 
> 
> There is a much longer version of this story that could be told but for now I’m happy enough with this one even if it doesn’t include every little thing I would want to. 
> 
> Pairings: Slade/Oliver 
> 
> Warnings: infant death

“Oliver you must understand,” Moira says, and it is a phrase Oliver is getting more and more used to coming out of the mouths of people he had previously trusted. “I made a bad decision. A foolish one, I will admit. But I couldn’t let Thea but the one to pay for it.”

“It’s not that I don’t understand that, I get it.” Better than he ever hopes she will realise. “What I don’t understand is why you have continued to keep it from her. Why you keep letting us all live the lie-“

“You haven’t had a child Oliver. When you do you will understand what it is to be terrified of losing them. And I hope, I hope, you never, never, have to face the day like I have where you believe to have lost them. I couldn’t tell her while your father was still alive. And after- after you were both lost I couldn’t risk losing her too because of it. Forgive me Oliver for I’ve had to make some terrible calls. But I was just trying to keep you and Thea safe, always. You do not understand what it is like to have a child – to want to protect them over anything else.”

The words Oliver wants to say catch in his throat. He can’t- his family cannot know. Cannot know how much he understands the reasons for the calls the people around him keep making. Too many other questions would follow.

Still.

“This isn’t about protecting Thea mum. This is about protecting _you. _Secrets don’t tend to stay hidden in our family any longer.” Not even Oliver is immune to that fact as much as he’s managed to keep a lot of things hidden from a lot of people. “How do you think Thea would feel if she found out from someone else?”

“Oliver if you’re planning to-“

“I’m not. Don’t worry. I won’t be the one to hurt Thea like that. But don’t keep saying you’re protecting us when you’re just protecting yourself. And don’t think I will stand by your side while you do it.”

“Oliver-“ his mother reaches for him but Oliver just steps back so she can’t reach.

“No, I’m done. I’m done with your lies. I will still act like we’re family with Thea and I’ll publically support your campaign. But privately? We’re through.”

Oliver leaves at that. He doesn’t want to – can’t – keep listening to his mother’s justifications. They pick too much at the scab from the island he thought he closed up into a survivable scar.

* * *

_“I’m fine,” Oliver says after he finishes puking up his guts again. “Just some food poisoning.” _

_“Kid we both know it ain’t food poisoning,” Slade says witting down next to Oliver, his hand gently running through Oliver’s hair. _

_“No, it’s-“ Obvious. And no amount of conscious ignorance is going to protect them from it. “Not. It’s not food poisoning.” _

_“Shit kid.” Slade says. A feeling Oliver completely gets and agrees with. “What did you do?” _

_“What did I do? You’re just as much to blame for this as I am.” Slade had certainly seemed happy enough to climb into Oliver’s makeshift nest and ride his heat out with him. _

_“Yeah and for what it’s worth I’m sorry for the part I had to play in it.” Slade’s hand is replaced by his nose gently resting in Oliver’s hair. A comforting gesture that doubles in letting him take in Oliver’s scent. _

_“What are we going to do?” They can’t afford this. Not currently with so many people hunting them. Not while they’re still stuck on the island. _

_“Not much we can do. Just have to survive this as well.” _

_Oliver was afraid Slade would say that. _

* * *

“Thanks for the help again Ollie,” Thea says as he helps her and Roy bring more stock into the storeroom from her latest order.

“I did start this place, it’s only fair that I help keep it running. Plus, I like spending time with you.”

“Yeah, well maybe if you came home for dinner you wouldn’t have to do work to see me and we could just hang,” Thea says, putting her box down on the shelf.

“Thea I have been busy with the company.”

“Heard that one before,” Thea says with a snort. “You don’t have to explain it to me Ollie. I’m going to get the receipt to check off, don’t kill each other while I’m gone.”

As soon as she’s gone Roy puts his box down and is by Oliver’s side.

“Hey, it isn’t, you know, Arrow business that’s keeping you? ‘Cause you know I can always help with that,” Roy says somehow looking both full of bravado and like an anxious pup.

“No it’s- personal.”

“You sure, ‘cause I-“

“And what are you two talking about?” Thea asks from the doorway. The shipment itinerary casually held in her hand.

“Nothing, uh, your bother’s just been mentoring me a bit. Might have your job running this place one day,” Roy says before Oliver can give a better cover. And it doesn’t help that the younger omega keeps his head half-bowed in clear submission. Clear shame.

“Sure,” Thea says with a startled laugh. “My omega brother decides to finally go clucky and it’s over my boyfriend.”

“Thea-“ he can explain. Or at least give a better excuse.

“It’s fine, really Ollie. I mean I don’t know if I should feel patronised or think it’s cute.”

“Thea.” Oh god he’s never going to hear the end of it is he?

“It’s good though Ollie, means you’re finally growing up,” Thea says with a laugh. “Hey just think, you might actually be able to give mum a grandkid and not forget to feed them or something.”

Oliver knows his face falls at it and he isn’t surprised Thea catches on. But he swears he feels the phantom tension in his chest he thought he was rid of years ago.

“Ollie, hey, it was just a joke yeah?” Thea says, coming over to grab his arm in comfort. “I don’t actually-“

“Yeah I know it was just a joke, it’s fine, it just-“ hit a bit too close to the memories he’s trying to forget about. “I just remembered some work I had to do at the office. Sorry I’m going to have to miss out on coming home for dinner again.”

“Oh, it’s okay Ollie – just take care of yourself as well okay?”

“Sure Speedy.”

* * *

_“Aren’t even showing yet and you’re already building a nest,” Slade says as Oliver works around the plane-cabin. _

_“Shut up,” is all Oliver bothers to respond with. _

_“It’s because he doesn’t feel safe,” Shado says from where she’s watching Oliver while also staying out of his way. _

_“See – if you made me feel more safe I wouldn’t be doing this,” Oliver says to Slade earning himself a snort. _

_“I’m sorry, I was too busy keeping you safe to think about also making you feel it.” _

_“Then you’re just going to have to deal with me doing this because my stupid instincts are telling me that I need to or else we’re at risk of – something.” _

_“And there’s the pregnant irrationality kicking in.” _

_“Oh shut up!” _

* * *

Sara is alive.

Oliver feels himself breathe again because she isn’t dead. Nor threated by the League anymore. He saved her. At least he saved her.

He fades back into the shadows to let her family get to enjoy their member, their child, alive and safe. Tries not to think about how desperately Sara’s mother rubs her scent into her child. How clear her relief is at having her pup back with her.

Oliver’s a bit surprised when Detective Lance calls the Arrow an hour later. Still he agrees to meet him.

“I don’t suppose you have kids?” Detective Lance asks when the Arrow, Oliver, lands on the roof.

“No.” It’s the technical truth. He doesn’t have kids.

And there’s no point to explaining the whole technicalities of it anyway. Better for the Arrow’s image.

“Didn’t think so. If you did you might understand just what you’ve given us. It killed me thinking she was dead – was even worse when I had to let her leave again and couldn’t tell anyone else she was alive. And tonight I nearly lost her again. I-“

“It’s okay Detective Lance.” Oliver’s glad Sara can be with her family again to. So glad to know she is home again. So glad to know he could save her family from that pain. “You don’t have to explain it to me.”

“No,” Detective Lance says with the slight inflection in his voice which normally means he’s starting down the path to a theory. “Look I don’t know if you’re an omega, beta, alpha, or whatever, and I don’t know if you have a family. But that’s my girl you hear. And I know I won’t be able to convince her not to keep doing you guy’s thing. But look after her alright? Because I can’t be there to do it all the time.”

“Of course.”

* * *

_“I don’t like you out in the open like this currently,” Slade grumbles as Oliver follows him to the stream they fish in. _

_“Yeah well I can’t just stay in our den the whole nine months can I?” As much as his instincts scream that the den and nest are the only safe places they also keep driving him to get some fresh air. Because of course his instincts want to keep him in a contradiction that leaves him constantly on-edge this whole pregnancy. _

_“Still don’t like it,” Slade says stopping in his tracks. _

_“And now who’s getting instinctually irrational?” Oliver says catching up to Slade and leaning against the alpha. “Don’t like your omega not back in the den waiting for you.” _

_“Shut up,” Slade growls. _

_“No-“ Oliver says which just earns him a hand over his mouth. _

_“Shut up and listen.” Oliver is still amazed at how good Slade is at getting an alpha command into a whisper. But somehow he always does it. _

_He hears it though, the shifting rocks that mean someone is coming. It isn’t Shado – she stayed back and it wouldn’t sound like that if she was coming to find them. _

_They both move instantly to cover. Pressing themselves into some tree roots that gets them out of at least a clear view. _

_“Do you think they saw us?” Oliver whispers and, fuck, he shouldn’t have followed Slade. Put them in too much danger just because he didn’t want to be some omega waiting for their alpha to protect and provide for him. _

_Slade shakes his head but doesn’t say anything. No need to risk being heard if the message can be conveyed silently. _

_The waiting is terrible. All they can do is listen and hope they’re not found. _

_Oliver moves his hand to his stomach because it isn’t just his own life he is worrying about. A stupid decision, getting pregnant, but god, if Oliver didn’t find himself praying they didn’t pay for it. _

_The footsteps fade away and once they are gone Slade’s hand comes to rest over Oliver’s on his stomach. _

_“We’re safe,” Slade says, his forehead pressing against Oliver’s. “But you’re not coming out here again with me.” _

* * *

It’s nice to have Sara working with them. As much as Diggle can provide support out in the field there isn’t the same connection as Sara who survived the island with him.

Plus it gives them someone else to spar with.

“It’s not that bad, I’m okay,” Sara says after Diggle accidently hits her in what was supposed to be a more playful sparing match.

“Let me see,” Oliver says even though he knows the comment he’s going to earn for it.

“You can be a real omega at times,” Sara says exactly as expected. So Oliver just rolls his eyes and checks the blow to her head. They all know too well that head-wounds aren’t something you want to just wait and see on.

“She’s bleeding, but it’s not deep.” She’ll be fine.

“Good I can’t take anymore scars,” Sara says, “speaking of – mortar round?”

“Yeah IED, the Patika provenance of Afghanistan, good eye,” Diggle says showing off the scar on his leg.

“I know my wounds, grenade, Algiers,” Sara says showing off her own.

“I’ve never been hit by a grenade,” Oliver says.

“All those scars and you’ve never been hit by a grenade?” Diggle asks.

“Arrow, knife, knife.” It’s weirdly fun to play this game of who has what scars. All of them aware that the scars are just a fact of life for them and all of them mean a moment where they could have died but didn’t. All being reasons for why they are able to still be there having his conversation.

“Oliver, what about those?” Felicity says pointing to the curved lines along Oliver’s stomach. “I mean they look like stretchmarks but-”

“They’re from a whip.” They’re not. And the way Diggle’s head immediate twists to look at him means Oliver should have thought of a different cover. Too late now. “Someone really wanted some information from me.”

“Oh I’m sorry, they must have been really painful,” Felicity says looking thoroughly chastised and Oliver didn’t mean to make her feel like that.

“It was, but it’s in the past now, it’s fine Felicity.” It was and it would be fine had his memories decided to stay in the past and not try and suffocate him currently. “We all should be getting reading for a party anyway.”

“Ollie you really didn’t have to throw me a party,” Sara says.

“It’s tradition at this point, you come back from the dead you get a party,” Oliver says. “But I need to go make sure the party is actually there for your arrival.”

He takes the stairs two at a time to head back up to the club.

“Is it just me or did he try and get out of that conversation faster than usual?” Felicity asks just as Oliver is nearly out of earshot.

* * *

_“I’m so big I feel like I can’t do anything,” Oliver complains, massaging at his stomach between gutting the fish for dinner. _

_“You still have a bit bigger to go,” Slade points out. _

_“Don’t tell me that! I’m done. I want them out now.” _

_“They need to get a bit bigger if they’re gonna’ survive out of you,” Slade says, sitting behind Oliver and wrapping his arms around his stomach and Oliver does lean back into it. _

_“I know, I just don’t know how much longer I can waddle my way around this place before I give up and just lie in bed until they’re born.” _

_“You’ll be fine,” Slade says, resting his head on Oliver’s shoulder. “You might be a princess but you’ve survived until now. You can get through something nearly every omega on the planet has. And once they’re here I’ll even carry them sometimes so you can go back to your skittish moving around without even half a plan.” _

_“Once there here you can take them and I can go collect food while you wait for me to return,” Oliver says earning him a snort. _

_“If you say so kid.” _

* * *

“I can’t imagine what she must have gone through – thinking her child dead for so many years.” Oliver doesn’t know whose conversation he is overhearing exactly but he’s starting to wish he hadn’t fled the conversation with his mother. Her anger at him easier to deal with than being reminded of just how painful it is to lose a child.

So long as the conversation with his mother hadn’t turned to why she was angry at him for cutting her out of his life.

“Hey,” Thea says, a thankful distraction from the conversations going on around him.

“Hey, Speedy, what’s up?”

“Pretty good party we threw together, if I don’t say so myself.”

“Yeah, we, uh, we did pretty good.”

“Shame you’re going to spend the whole thing trying to avoid mum,” Thea says like she just caught him with his hand in the cookie jar.

“What?”

“Oh come on, I’m not stupid Ollie. I know the real reason you’re avoiding coming home for dinner is because you’re avoiding mum.”

“No, Thea, I’ve been busy.” Between getting Sara back home, being CEO, his general duties as the Arrow, and the plague of memories of a trauma he thought he had made peace with, he can well claim ‘busy’.

“Sure, busy enough to start mentoring Roy,” Thea says. “Look you need to stop lying to me, because, frankly, you suck at it. I know you’re avoiding mum I just want to know why.”

“Thea it’s- it’s complication okay?” Oliver did promise he wouldn’t tell Thea and it was one he wasn’t going to go back on. “And it’s personal. I promise it doesn’t involve you okay?”

“No,” Thea says but Oliver has already started walking away because he’d rather this conversation not keep going. He doesn’t want to have to come up with another crime of their mother in order to get Thea off his back.

Of course Thea doesn’t just let him go and instead follows him as he cuts through the party.

“Ollie you can’t just run away from this,” she says as he tries to find someone to pull into a conversation that will make her drop it.

Anyone, anyone-

There.

“Sara! Hey, how are you enjoying the party?” Sure he basically drags Sara away from the conversation she was having but she looked like she needed saving from it anyway.

“Ollie?” Sara glances between he and Thea and picks up that he needs saving just as much as she does. “It’s okay. I still don’t think it’s exactly deserved.”

“Of course it’s deserved you came back from the dead,” one of the other guests cuts in to say. An older woman that Oliver vaguely remembers from before the boat crashed but can’t place from where. “The two of you have no idea how much pain you caused your mothers – to lose ones child is such a terrible thing you can’t even imagine how much it hurts.”

The thing is Oliver can. He knows. He knows how much it hurts to lose a child. To outlive a child. And he knows in his case there isn’t going to be a miraculous revival.

“Ollie?” Sara says, her hand resting on his shoulder. “Hey, how much have you drunk tonight?”

None. But that answer isn’t going to get him out of the party and all the conversation about dead children and how much it hurts.

“A bit.”

“I thought so,” Sara says, “do you mind if I take him to go sit down for a bit?”

“Of course not,” their conversation addition says and Sara quickly thanks her before leading Oliver off.

Thea makes another beeline for them, concern clear in her face. And great, now she’s going to think he’s gotten himself drunk over a fight with their mother.

“He’s fine,” Sara says before Thea even opens her mouth. “He just needs some air.”

“Do you want me to come as well?”

“I’ll be fine Speedy. Go hang with your friends.” He glances over across the room and catches Roy’s eyes. A nod between them and he knows Roy should keep Thea busy for him. Even if later he’s going to have to come up with a new story for why that doesn’t have Roy pestering him about trying to keep him out of helping the Arrow.

All of this is just too many stories. But he can’t just tell them the truth.

Sara leads him out of the room of the party and into one of the living rooms that it hasn’t spilled into.

“You okay?” she asks as he sits down on the sofa.

“Yeah, uh, Thea was just bugging me about something-”

“I don’t think this about that,” Sara says because she knows what happened on the island and is smart enough to figure out how the party could be dragging it back up in him.

“Yeah, it’s not, but I’ll be fine, really. Go back and enjoy your party.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. I am.” He doesn’t want Sara right now. Saving her, bringing her back, had been enough. Now he just needs to deal with the picked-open scab himself.

* * *

_“Slade- Slade something’s wrong,” Oliver says mere seconds after the baby, their baby, his baby, is put in his arms. He hurts and feels so tired but hardly focuses on any of that compared to the fear in him from looking at his tiny baby girl and knowing something’s not right. “Slade she’s not breathing right.” _

_“I know,” Slade says, curling up around Oliver and gently running his finger down the baby’s cheek. “She might figure it out on her own, but-” _

_If she doesn’t there isn’t anything they can do about it. Any medical aid that could possibly save her completely inaccessible to them on the island. _

_“Come on sweetie,” Oliver mutters not even bothering to hold back his sobs. “I got you this far. Just do this for me okay. You gotta’ be a survivor too.” _

* * *

“Hey,” the door to the room opens and Felicity pokes her head though. “Uh, Thea said you left the party looking kind of out of it and I couldn’t find Sara so I thought I’d check on you.”

“Thanks, I’m, uh, I’m fine.” He’s had some time to reclose the wound that had been picked open.

“You sure? Because you don’t look fine.”

“Felicity.”

“Right, of course, I won’t point out that you shouldn’t go back into the party because you still look worse than you have some nights before we stick more blood back into you.”

Oliver laughs a little at it and Felicity seems to perk up a bit at it.

“Thanks for the heads up. I guess I’ll just stay here then.”

“Right, do you... want some company?”

“You offering?”

“Yes, I mean, just as friends, of course.”

“Of course,” he pats at the seat on the sofa next to him and Felicity quickly sits in it.

A few minutes pass without any conversation.

“Hey can I ask you something? It’s totally cool if you don’t want to answer because it’s too personal or painful or whatever,” Felicity says and Oliver has a feeling he knows what she’s going to ask.

“Sure.”

“They’re not actually whip scars are they?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

The silence creeps over them again and Oliver can feel Felicity fidget next to him.

“Four hours,” he says eventually. Because he’s read the therapy books and they all say talking about it can help. At the very least it won’t be someone else he feels he has to lie to about it.

“What?” Felicity asks.

“She, uh, wasn’t breathing right, when she, uh, when I had her, and after four hours she just stopped breathing altogether. Maybe if we had of been at a hospital-” but instead they were on an island in the middle of nowhere.

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Felicity says.

“It’s okay, it was a while ago now.”

“And this whole- with Sara being back-” Felicity starts.

“It just reminded me, yeah. I’ll be okay though, I promise. I just need some time.”

“Okay. Well I’m here if you need me. Or if you want me to leave that’s also cool. Whatever you want really.”

“It’s fine Felicity. You can stay.”

“Alright.”

* * *

_It hurt. Burying her- it hurt. _

_Burying everyone had hurt but she-_

_She was still so tiny. So new to life. It wasn’t fair- _

_It wasn’t fair that anyone had died. _

_Oliver was tired of burying people. He was tired of losing people that wouldn’t be lost if there weren’t on this stupid island. _

_“We’re not doing that again,” Oliver says to Slade as they stand there looking at the tiny grave they finished making for an unfairly tiny baby. “I don’t care how many more heats I have we’re not- we're not doing that again.” _

_It hurts too much. _

_Burying people always hurt. But this- this was his child. He carried her for nine months only for her to not even see a day’s worth of life. _

_He couldn’t do it again. _

_“Of course,” Slade says, his voice just as choked up as Oliver’s had been. Because it was hurting him to. _

_No. They wouldn’t be doing this again. _


End file.
